Thursday | 19 March 2026

Not leaning on our own understanding

A person’s fear of death and their need for control are firstly the implications of living by another law, which is expressed through the anxious thoughts that belong to the law of their mind. However, the drive for control and for self-preservation that indicate an inability to trust can be amplified by a person’s history. For example, a person may have difficulty trusting another because their trust has been previously betrayed. Others may be unable to trust because of the mistakes someone close to them has made, reinforcing in their own mind the need to be in control of their circumstances.

A person’s lack of trust and their need for control will be evident in a number of ways. They may, for example, need compelling evidence or justification to believe a word and join an initiative. In this regard, they judge a word, or direction, by the law of their mind, viewing with suspicion and caution what does not accord with their own understanding. They will not participate without sufficient reason. Alternatively, they wholeheartedly support what already accords with their understanding and sight. Others wait to see how a matter unfolds before committing to fellowship to avoid identification with failure or relational mess. Some people are relationally reserved, fearing an alternative agenda at work, or that they will be maligned if they engage the conversation.

This way of living is at odds with worship in Spirit and truth, and undermines the first-love fellowship that should be foundational to a Christian marriage covenant. It also demonstrates that a person does not trust God. In this regard, we note that a woman who trusts God will be submissive to her husband. As Peter explained, ‘For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.’ 1Pe 3:5-6.